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When I got pregnant with Baby Chickadee almost two years ago I closed in. My lack of sleep from the hormones during pregnancy plus the schedules of the kids and their schooling was about all I could handle. So I drastically cut back on playdates with my friends in hopes that my brain would continue to function in a semi- productive way.
Now, nearly two years later, the hormones in my body are back to normal, I’m exercising, my sleep is regular and restorative, I only have to drop off G and Little Missy once each day and pick them up once each day. Our current schedule is simple.
But without G and Little Missy it is quiet. Baby Chickadee is loving and entertaining but our conversations exist of her excitedly baby-blabbering to me and me responding with “Oh, really?” and “I was thinking the same thing!” Fake conversation that,
while pleasant and something I don’t want to forget, does not challenge my brain.
This staying at home with a toddler who cannot talk, a mother who lives far away, a sister who works full-time, friends who have their own households to run, is isolating.
We were not meant to live this way. Mothers and sisters and aunts and cousins all worked together while the men hunted. Our modern society, while beneficial in many ways, lacks in others.
Where does this leave me? I don’t really know. On Tuesday I spent most of my morning reading 2 Kings 6:24-7:20, then Leviticus 26, then Deuteronomy 29, and finished it up with Galatians 3:13 and 14.(You should read it, too. The God we serve is fascinating and complicated and ultimately madly in love with us.) Then Thursday I made a spectacle of myself when I dropped off very fragrant fast food to my kids at school, something I didn’t need to do, but it gave me the opportunity to see their silly faces.
I am in an earnest, daily relationship with the Lord, and so I know that if I’m lonely after spending time with Him then that is His purpose. He created us to be in community with Him and with one another. I just have to keep praying to find out where this loneliness is supposed to take me.
When I got pregnant with Baby Chickadee almost two years ago I closed in. My lack of sleep from the hormones during pregnancy plus the schedules of the kids and their schooling was about all I could handle. So I drastically cut back on playdates with my friends in hopes that my brain would continue to function in a semi- productive way.
Now, nearly two years later, the hormones in my body are back to normal, I’m exercising, my sleep is regular and restorative, I only have to drop off G and Little Missy once each day and pick them up once each day. Our current schedule is simple.
But without G and Little Missy it is quiet. Baby Chickadee is loving and entertaining but our conversations exist of her excitedly baby-blabbering to me and me responding with “Oh, really?” and “I was thinking the same thing!” Fake conversation that,
while pleasant and something I don’t want to forget, does not challenge my brain.
This staying at home with a toddler who cannot talk, a mother who lives far away, a sister who works full-time, friends who have their own households to run, is isolating.
We were not meant to live this way. Mothers and sisters and aunts and cousins all worked together while the men hunted. Our modern society, while beneficial in many ways, lacks in others.
Where does this leave me? I don’t really know. On Tuesday I spent most of my morning reading 2 Kings 6:24-7:20, then Leviticus 26, then Deuteronomy 29, and finished it up with Galatians 3:13 and 14.(You should read it, too. The God we serve is fascinating and complicated and ultimately madly in love with us.) Then Thursday I made a spectacle of myself when I dropped off very fragrant fast food to my kids at school, something I didn’t need to do, but it gave me the opportunity to see their silly faces.
I am in an earnest, daily relationship with the Lord, and so I know that if I’m lonely after spending time with Him then that is His purpose. He created us to be in community with Him and with one another. I just have to keep praying to find out where this loneliness is supposed to take me.
