Every adoption story is different. They can entail abandonment, abuse, orphanages, or a simple choice to let someone else raise your child.
Not every story ends with a happy, well-adjusted child that appreciates her new home.
Ron and Sabrina Nibblelink took in a child 11 years ago who had experienced a lifetime of problems in about three years.
In the 12 months before coming to live with the Nibbelinks, the child had been placed in seven different homes, each one deciding her emotional issues were more than they could bear.
“You don’t take care of this yourself,” Sabrina said. “In a way we were prepared. But without the help of our church, therapy and support groups, we would not have made it.”
At first there was a brief honeymoon period but then their daughter began to push back.
Years of abuse and being shuttled from one home to another ingrained trust issues and multiple emotional problems that were going to need to be treated for the child to thrive.
Sabrina stayed home with her for seven years, trying to do whatever it took to help her adopted child make it through this tough time in her life.
The Nibbelinks’ two natural children were very supportive of the idea of adopting and have remained patient even when their new sibling took up the majority of their parents’ time and focus.
“Our other kids have been committed to this even though they have been put on hold sometimes,” Sabrina said. “No matter what happened along the way, they never wanted us to give up.”
Sabrina describes adoption as a picture of the love God shows for people when he takes us in when they don’t necessarily deserve it.
The story isn’t all bleak.
There have been many times when their daughter reached out to them in love or even in a heart-felt apology for issues that would fracture any relationship.
“We just try to show her that our love for her is unconditional,” Sabrina said. “No matter what, we want her to make it as an independent, successful adult. I think she’ll make it. This can still be a happily ever after story.”
But for now, the Nibbelinks are happy that they finally have an accurate diagnosis and treatment plan. They feel like they are on the right path, even though the journey down that path may be long and difficult.
“Dealing with all of these issues brings the skeletons out of your own closet,” Sabrina said. “It makes you more real.”
But there is no sympathy requested for their family.
“I would adopt again,” Sabrina said. “If someone doesn’t intervene for these kids, where will they end up? There are so many older kids who have a hard time finding a home. They need someone to help them, too.”
Augusta, Kan. —
